Queen Victoria on the Loss of Prince Albert: “I feel this so terribly in what is, to me, such an abiding sorrow!”

Among the more personal and powerful letters of Victoria we have ever seen

Queen Victoria met her cousin Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha when she was just sixteen, and found him appealing even then. The families’ plan to unite the two happened to coincide well with the desires of Victoria and Albert themselves, and they were married on February 10, 1840 in the Chapel Royal in the Palace of St. James.

The marriage was a love match and a great success. Prince Albert taught Victoria much about how to be a ruler in a constitutional monarchy where the monarch had very few powers but could exert much influence. He took an active interest in the arts, science, trade and industry; the project for which he is best remembered was the Great Exhibition of 1851, which was the first great World’s Fair, and the profits from which helped to establish the South Kensington museums complex in London. He was also instrumental in preventing Britain from intervening on the Confederate side in the American Civil War. After he died unexpectedly in 1861 at age 42, Victoria went into a seclusion.

Their love, his death and her grief are widely known, the subject of literature and film. She wrote on mourning stationery for the rest of her life.

Gerald Wellesley was appointed personal chaplain to the Queen in 1849, becoming Dean of Windsor in 1854; in constant contact with the royal family he was one of the Queen’s closest advisors. He married Madgalen ‘Lily’ Montagu, daughter of Lord Rokeby, in 1856. Gerald Wellesley died in 1882, leaving Lily a widow, as was Victoria.

Autograph letter signed, Balmoral Castle, September 19 1883, to Mrs. Wellesley, discussing the burden of grief, her ongoing struggle, and her feeling of isolation. “Dearest Lily, Tho’ my letter was later than it should have been, as I wished you to have rec[eive]d it on the 17th, my thoughts have not the less been much & sympathizingly occupied with you, & all your terrible trials & sufferings, wh[ich] only begun just a year ago! It seems as tho years of sorrow had been gone through! Our dear kind Dean, how often he is in my thoughts. How kind he w[oul]d have been in many trials & troubles wh[ich] have beset us! I grieve to think you will not have been able to go in quiet & peace to his resting place – at least to where the earthly remains rest, – for our dear Ones are not there.

“…I have gone through a course of ‘Massage’ from a person Beatrice found did her such good at Aix – & she came here & rubbed me (tho’ it is not rubbing) for 21 days – & I am feeling much better.

“But I cant say otherwise I feel better. I have the comfort here to be able to go very often [to] the spot where the Earthly Remains of that dearest friend rest, to place fresh flowers there. It is a very beautiful spot – with the fine Hills rising all round, – & I think everyone likes the inscription wh[ich] I enclose for you. Hundreds & hundreds come to see it! – Formerly few, if any, but those who had friends resting there – went there.

“Helena & her boys have been with us from the beginning; the little one goes back to school on Friday & the eldest a week later. He has no doubt told you all about it himself. – Beatrice has returned quite well & strong from Aix les Bains. It has done her the greatest good wh[ich] repays me for the pain & g[rea]t inconvenience of the separation.

“As time goes on, & others forget, – ones sorrow & ones loss become greater as you have to bear them alone. This isolation of bereavement & sorrow – intensifies it – as it settles deep down in your heart, and soul, where it remains! I feel this so terribly in what is, to me such an abiding sorrow!”

No one could replace Prince Albert for whom Queen Victoria’s personal mourning never ceased, and for whom she ordered that official mourning should be ‘for the longest term in modern times’. In this letter written decades after his death, you can still feel the immediacy of Victoria’s grief.