Queen Victoria Grieves for Her Mother, and Days After the Death, Thanks Her Mother’s Lady-in-Waiting For Her Devotion

"It is so soothing to my poor bleeding heart to see such love for her, such true devotion & such true sorrow…The night (just a week ago!) we passed together, & the solemn scene when that blessed spirit left us for a World where passion & sorrow are no more must ever be a tie between us."

Princess Alexandrina Victoria, known as Victoria, was the only child of Edward, Duke of Kent and Duchess Victoria of Saxe-Coburg in Germany. Her father was a son of British King George III, so Victoria was the  King's granddaughter. Her father Edward died when she was one year old, and her domineering and overprotective mother sheltered and controlled her, largely keeping her away from her uncles Kings George IV and William IV. Both uncles both died without leaving heirs, and as the surviving child of her father, who was next in line for the throne, she became Queen. This was shortly after her 18th birthday in 1837.

Victoria lived a quiet, secluded childhood in Kensington Palace with her mother and a largely German-speaking household. Not expected ever to reign as monarch, her upbringing was left largely to her mother, who saw to it that her daughter received a liberal education in music, drawing, natural philosophy, history, and foreign languages. As a child, Victoria was described as warmhearted, lively, and occasionally mischievous. She also exhibited a natural gracefulness, carrying herself with unselfconscious dignity. During these early years of her life she began to keep regular diaries, a habit that she never dropped, enabling modern historians to gain a thorough, intimate look at the course of her whole life. In those diaries, Victoria revealed a simple piety, which she had inherited from her mother, as well as a contrasting, deeply romantic streak that spoke to her complex, introspective personality. By Victoria's teen years, it became apparent that she would be heir to the throne, and this circumstance greatly altered the quiet, unassuming life she and her mother had led in Kensington Palace.

Victoria was raised largely isolated from other children under the so called "Kensington System", an elaborate set of rules and protocols devised by the Duchess and her ambitious and domineering and self-serving paramour Sir John Conroy, the comptroller of the Duchess's household. Conroy went out of his way to foster a sort of rival royalty between King William and his successor, and he had ambitions to become a prominent figure in any future regency. The Princess made many social appearances in London where she loved particularly to see Italian operas. Her mother, with whom Victoria had developed a very poor relationship, usually orchestrated these appearances. The mother was wrapped up in her ambitions for her daughter's future as queen, and often treated the Princess coldly and flippantly in private, even though in public she made many empty shows of motherly affection toward her royal daughter. Victoria later described her childhood as "rather melancholy."

Though queen, as an unmarried young woman Victoria was required by social convention to live with her mother, despite their differences over the Kensington System and her mother's continued reliance on Conroy. Her mother was consigned to a remote apartment in Buckingham Palace, and Victoria often refused to meet her. When Victoria complained to Lord Melbourne that her mother's close proximity promised "torment for many years", he suggested she get married. She met her cousin of the same age, Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg Gotha, and the two got along very well. They were  married in 1840. At that time, Victoria's mother was evicted from the palace. However, through Albert's mediation, relations between mother and daughter slowly improved.

On March 16, 1861, Victoria's mother died, with Victoria at her side. Through reading her mother's papers, Victoria discovered that her mother had loved her deeply; she was heart-broken, and blamed Conroy for estranging her from her mother. The Queen grieved for her mother, and was much affected by her death.

Lady Fanny Howard was the daughter of the Duke of Devonshire, and just two years older that the Princess Victoria. Every now and then Fanny would be invited to play with her, and an affection was engendered between the two children that was never forgotten. In time Fanny was appointed Lady-in-Waiting to the Duchess, and often accompanied her when the Duchess went out.

Autograph letter signed "VR," 4 pages, Windsor Castle, March 22 ,1861, to Lady Fanny Howard, exposing her grief and thanking her for her devotion to her mother. "Tho' I have told you again & again during these dreadful days how truly & deeply grateful I am for your devotion to my dearest beloved Maman, I must repeat it again in writing. It is so soothing to my poor bleeding heart to see such love for her, such true devotion & such true sorrow. The night (just a week ago!) we passed together, & the solemn scene when that blessed spirit left us for a World where passion & sorrow are no more must ever be a tie between us. I shall only be acting as I know she would wish in continuing to you what you received in her service, & hope that I may yet often see you. Pray retain for the Children, & from the Children of her you served so faithfully, some of the affection you bore to her!" The Queen was true to her word that there would forever be a bond between her and Fanny. On every anniversary of the Duchess's birthday, the two women dined together until Fanny died in 1894.

Unfortunately, this was just the start to a disastrous year, which would end with Albert's death on December 14.